A Ferry Engineer Died and I Missed my Chiropractic Appointment:

I’m the only one in my family who believes that death is actually when the fun starts, so I’m the perfect person to manage the process, because I can stay out of story and stay matter of fact. My Mother, on the hand, believes that we’re “Six dollars worth of chemicals and when we die, it’s lights out, and back we go into the earth.” After she saw the movie Coco, she amended that to include: “And we live on the memories of others.” So she is like Eeyore on Crack and even if I meditated until my face fell off, eventually I’ll snap. Continue reading A Ferry Engineer Died and I Missed my Chiropractic Appointment:

Lessons from an Exploding Nutribullet

(FYI, there is not a podcast to go with this post)

Lately I understand the work (for me) as recognizing that every last thing, every experience doesn’t just happen for “a reason,” it happens because I need it to happen, and beyond that –  I wrote the script. 

And if I say it about the trophy ceremonies, the high fives from bosses, angels singing, cookie dough and rainbow moments – then I have to say it about the bracing slaps, the torn ACLs, the stabs in the back from co workers, death, illness, divorce …as well.  Bad things don’t happen to good people. Things happen that we need to happen to keep us on our path, and get us where we’re supposed to go. 


Yesterday, I was using my beloved Nutribullet to make a green smoothie, and stuffed it as I do every day with things you’re not supposed to put in it – frozen rocks of cucumber and avocado… and mid pulverization, the container blew a hole in it and the green viscous goodness instantly adhered to multiple walls, the floor, my favorite sweater, swamping the Nutribullet base…It was a fucking mess.   I switched the power off and froze. This was the moment of truth. After a brief, stunned silence, I forced a little guffaw, a grim chuckle which turned into a genuine laugh, not a carefree giggle (I’m not Mary Poppins am I?), more like a muddy mirth mixed with a sliver of light,  distilled into a  recognition that this was an opportunity and Freaking out would solve nothing and make it worse. What would examining the why do for me?

Here was my thought process.

  1. Oh shit, I NEED my Nutribullet.
  2. Ok, shit – what a gooey mess.
  3. Really? It’s on the wall in the HALL?
  4. Ok, so WHY did this happen?
  5. I’ve gotten away with – for over a year –  putting things in it they say not to, but today was the day that you put your foot down. 
  6. Hmm, ok kind of funny that this happened.
  7. Universe you’ve got my attention.
  8. What am I supposed to learn?
  9. What is the pivot here?
  10. I can buy a new container.
  11. It’s on the ceiling for fucksake!
  12. I need my smoothie.
  13. Will a regular blender work?
  14. Oh, look – the blender works just fine.

Remember when we used to be able to run and hide? And then we could at least run OR hide. Now, there is not a one of us who can escape the INNER-PERSONAL MESSAGING APP installed while we slept, (or at birth, and activated by the changing magnetics of the planet or whatever…) programmed to stop us in our tracks, illuminate our paths, fill us with awe, drown us in grief, forcing us to reexamine who we are and what we’re doing, with what degree of integrity and to whom,  where we’re headed, and how can we be better – ready or not.

Denial, hubris, wealth, power, celebrity are no match for the sequence of events we compiled before we got here, cemented with sacred contracts (as Carolyn Myss would say) that set in motion the domino effect – anything but random – that brings us together to do what me must.

Two and a half years ago when I started the Packing for Crazy Town Podcast as my way of trying to magnetize conversations around Possibility in uncertain times, “synchronicity” was still something that inspired some wonder in people, generally, and now that and other formerly profound concepts are just Tuesday. We are in as much of an energetic candy store as we’ll allow. For example, to discover that divination was merely synchronicity that we MAKE HAPPEN – that’s GOLD. That’s big. That’s freaking USEFUL INFO. THUS…

I’m newly motivated to share the offline learnings of the last year or so of being lifted up, sucked under, and spit out – rinse, repeat, refine (Groundhog’s Day style) because bit by bit, I’m gaining an AWARENESS of HOW to wrangle the available energies such that I’m in a position to thrive in the theatre of the unknown, to win at the new Math Olympics. Like, if someone said, write the Calculus of “If Mommy’s Happy Everybody’s Happy” on the board, I could do that. With my eyes closed. 

There are daily demons, oh yes, even moment to moment ones, but increasingly, I know how to talk to them, to marginalize them, hear their siren song as elevator music and shut them down as something I used to do. AND, occasionally when they call at the perfect moment, I’ll go: “Yeah, why AM I working so hard to NOT do things?” Then I’ll lower my shields and let them run all over me which feels AMAZING for between 20 seconds and 3 hours.  Then I give myself a stern WTF? And start again.

Clarity is kryptonite to self-sabotage. 

It’s not always pretty, but I’ve been vacuuming up spiritual modalities right and left and experimenting daily with how to cultivate opportunities to work with spirit to normalize manifesting experiences that are better than I can imagine.

Continue reading “Lessons from an Exploding Nutribullet”

When the Going Gets Weird, the Weird Get Going: The first of several Thoughts on Creating Original Episode Content

For all you late bloomers out there, chances are you took the scenic route, and if you took the scenic route, you probably have a story or two to tell.  If there is an idea that won’t go away, listen to that.  Make time. Tell your family what I told mine: Ok, so I’m not going to cook or clean this month: I’m just going to write.  
Continue reading When the Going Gets Weird, the Weird Get Going: The first of several Thoughts on Creating Original Episode Content